


Alive, But Not Living

by Aaron_The_8th_Demon



Category: Fallout 4, Terminator (Movies), The Terminator (1984)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood of Steel - Freeform, Childbirth, Crack Treated Seriously, Depression, Emotionally Compromised, F/M, Final Battle, Genetics, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Loss of Trust, Love, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Medical Procedures, Military Ranks, Missions Gone Wrong, Near Death Experiences, Post-Nuclear War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Promises, Serious Injuries, Skynet (mentioned only), Time Travel, Timeline Shenanigans, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:30:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8694625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaron_The_8th_Demon/pseuds/Aaron_The_8th_Demon
Summary: Kyle Reese wakes up in the wrong future of the wrong timeline with no memory of how he got there, no way to know if his mission succeeded, no way home and every reason to doubt his original mission. Without Sarah Connor to love or Skynet to fight, he joins Paladin Anthony Kostin for the last stage of the war against the Institute.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, you know what, there are multiple weird crossovers that incorporate the Terminator universe and there are TONS of fanfics based on that piece of shit Genisys, so that gives me free reign.
> 
> Other than that, this freaking story was TORTURING me until I finally wrote it because I like Fallout and also because I will never stop feeling like my soul was crushed when I watch the first Terminator movie and Kyle dies. Plus Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton as Kyle and Sarah together in that movie are adorable and so I wanted to write about them. Seeing how the Terminator universe is all about splits in the timeline and the Fallout universe is also based around an alternate timeline, I figured I could make it work. I know this is far from my best story that I've written but I've seen lots of really stupid crossovers with the Terminator universe mixed in there, so I'm posting it because I'm sure someone out there will enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured that due to the nature of this story that this timeline will have some minor alterations to it, seeing how my SoSu Anthony Kostin returns for this story.

He still felt deafened by the explosion.

His hearing was beginning to clear again, the ringing playing over the muffled noises that were starting to fade back to his mind. But they were in no way the sounds he expected to hear: human voices, several of them in fact, all yelling over each other while one loud female voice barked orders. He couldn’t decipher all of it, but he certainly recognized some of the medical jargon from previous injuries. So was that it, then? Was he on some old bed, still with the bloodstains of the last guy in their shitty little infirmary? That must be it. That had to be it.

Hands, all over his body, but with an odd texture that was inhuman. Instantly the sensation made him panic, but even though his entire body tensed, he was having trouble moving, somehow.

They had him.

Fuck, they had him, and it was all over now. Who knew what technology they had, how things had been changed by his actions. They could create a replica of him to destroy his comrades. Fuck. He could feel the hands of the non-people, poking him, almost checking for something it seemed. But it made no sense, why would they be talking then? They wouldn’t be speaking the way humans did. So somehow, human voices and inhuman hands were in control of his life at the moment, and the confusion only frightened him more. Fuck.

And then, the pain.

It was like being burned, but straight through his flank, as though a blow torch was being used to open the muscles there. This realization caused adrenaline to explode into his bloodstream, his eyes flying open to meet what could have been humans but, at the same time, couldn’t be. There were cloth wraps where the faces should be, rubber goggles. But human eyes under the glass lenses. What was this hell? He wanted to scream in agony, terror and outrage, but gagged on the tubes down his throat. His muscles caused him to start thrashing sporadically against whatever surface he’d been restrained to, but he couldn’t gain enough control over himself to fight or even to run.

“Shit!” one of them yelped, her voice surprise in its purest form. “The anesthetics weren’t powerful enough, we need to dose him again, his heart rate is spiking!”

All the hands were on him at once, holding various parts of his body. One rested across his forehead, and another human voice that couldn’t be human came to him: “It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re trying to help you, it’s okay…”

The excruciating wounds on his body made it nearly impossible for him to detect the needle that was forced into his arm, but almost instantly he felt himself go limp and suddenly found himself waking up on what was probably the same bed. Struggling to open his eyes, the first thing he saw was the color white. But this was a ridiculous whiteness, nothing he’d seen could ever be this white. And a working light from the old world? That was nearly unheard of for him.

He could just barely feel his body. His arms didn’t want to move, he couldn’t sit up. His legs and feet seemed very far away from him. All he could do was roll his head to the side, though even this required an enormous effort that he could barely summon. Just that small motion left him exhausted, though it was all but forgotten when his vision swam back into focus and he saw walls of an odd shade of green, lined by metal shelves stacked with organized items. Nothing in his life had ever been so clean.

There was a small table on wheels and a chair at the side of the bed, which was interesting. He could hear movement all around him too, without a single moment of silence, but it was all very human noise. Words mumbled in low tones, footsteps, an occasional chuckle or the slurp of fluid being swallowed. It made him wonder if what he’d seen was even real until someone sat down in the chair, clipboard in hand. Her face looked human, but she was wearing a strange plastic jumpsuit and had one of the cloth wraps and a set of goggles dangling from her neck.

“Hey,” the woman smiled, her voice nurturing. “We didn’t know if you’d wake up, you had a really rough surgery. Are you feeling okay right now?”

“Ughn,” was all he could moan, trying in vain to raise his head so he could assess her better. He couldn’t tell if she was a threat or not.

“It’s alright, you’re safe here,” she told him, reading his expression. “You’re not the first one to wake up here not knowing where you are. I’m Doctor Holden. Is your name…” She glanced down at her clipboard. “...Reese? Kyle Reese? We got you to wake up for a few minutes yesterday, you told us your name then.”

Reese blinked at the sound of his name; this was either a very good or a very bad sign.

“M… m’name’s Reese,” he slurred with great difficulty. It didn’t matter, really. In this incapacitated state he was mostly likely about to be killed anyway.

Dr. Holden smiled at him. “Hi, Reese. You’re really lucky that you were found, any longer and you would’ve been gone. You almost went on us several times and we did emergency surgery. You woke up for a few seconds in the middle of it, too. But you’re very strong. Since you’ve woken up, you’ll probably pull through.”

Reese groaned again, barely able to remember words. Surgery? Was that the torment he’d witnessed earlier? He closed his eyes, trying to remember but failing. He looked back at her, hoping for answers. “My’nj’ries?”

“You had some life-threatening blunt trauma to your head, and a medium-caliber entry wound in your right flank. We had to remove the bullet fragments. There were some other minor abrasions and lacerations, too. But we had to drain some blood to relieve the pressure on your brain, you were on the table for about ten hours. We didn’t know if you’d live.”

“Mph,” he grunted, trying to lift his head again but still not clearing the pillow. He was starting to get physically uncomfortable - he was cold, and his wounds not only ached but some of them also itched and he didn’t have the strength to scratch. “’M alive… ’m alive… gotta leave…”

Dr. Holden shook her head. “You can’t leave yet, Reese. You need to recover first. Just get some rest, okay? I’ll come check on you soon.”

She patted his shoulder, then stood up and walked out of his field of view. He dozed off and on after that, occasionally woken by some other people whose names and faces he couldn’t remember. When he finally came to his senses for real, it felt like he’d been trapped for eternity with no control over his body. At least he could move again, which he realized by stretching his toes and cracking his fingers. When he tried to sit up, though, his side was too stiff and painful, so he was forced to remain in the same compromising position.

It was somewhat quieter than the last time he’d been awake, and not as bright. Raising his head, he noticed that he was the only patient. At the back of the room one young woman was sitting behind a row of desks, pencil scratching as she wrote.

“Hey,” Reese called out weakly. “Tell me what’s going on. Who are you?”

She looked up, then came over to him.

“I’m Betsy, one of the nurses,” she answered, sitting beside his bed. “You’re in Sanctuary, and we’re watching you recover. Anthony found you while he was out hunting, you’re very lucky he did.”

“Who?”

“Anthony Kostin. He built our settlement, and this hospital. He’s also a paladin in the Brotherhood.”

Reese was dumbfounded by this statement, but his questions about it could wait. He had more pressing matters.

“What day is it, what year? I’m on a mission, it’s very important.”

“It’s um… April, 2288. I don’t know what day exactly.”

Reese choked - that was impossible. It couldn’t have been that long, he had just been in 1984, trying to fend off the T-800. Sarah had been right behind him, he’d told her to run… no… this had to be wrong.

“But… judgment day… fuck, that can’t be right, I have to save Sarah, have you seen her? Do you know where she is? It’s my mission, I have to save her… it’s after her…”

“Sarah? Sarah Connor?” Betsy asked, raising her eyebrows. Reese nodded rapidly, but his spark of hope died in that same instant. “I haven’t, but you’ve been talking in your sleep. All it’s ever been is you calling out for her. Who is she? Wife, sister? Little girl?”

“She… she’s…” He struggled with the answer to this question. In the end, he could only come up with three words. “I love her.”

“Your girlfriend?”

The word was unfamiliar to him, but it seemed to fit.

“Yeah… Sarah… I have to find her, I have to save her, that thing is after her and I don’t know if I killed it.”

“Killed what?”

“The machine. It’s… it looks human on the outside, but underneath it’s a combat chassis, it’s metal but it’s shaped like a human skeleton.”

“Oh, you mean the synths,” Betsy nodded. “We’re fighting them. If you talk to Anthony, he’ll probably help you go after it.”

Reese rolled his head to the other side and closed his eyes. He almost felt as though everything inside him had died at that moment, because if these people knew about Skynet, then that meant Sarah was already long gone. His heart broke then, knowing he would never see her again and that he didn’t even have the photo he’d gotten from John. She’d been crying out to him in the factory, begging him to get to his feet and keep fighting, and the last thing he’d ever said to her was when he’d screamed for her to run because he couldn’t protect her any longer.

“Are you alright?”

Reese took a very long time to respond, drowning in a sudden wave of grief as he realized he might never know if he’d saved her. He had nothing left, so far from where he’d been what seemed only a few hours ago, and all there was for him now was to simply go back to the endless war with the machines.

“Who’s Anthony Kostin? Is he your commanding officer?”

“Um… well, I’m just a nurse, I’m not a soldier. But I guess so.”

“I need to speak with him.”

“He won’t be awake for another two hours.”

“I need to speak with him,” Reese insisted, hearing the hardness in his own voice. He had nothing to live for, now, so he may as well find out if these people were worth fighting alongside. “If he asks, I’m a sergeant of the resistance from the Tech-Com unit.”

Once he’d gotten her to agree, Reese spent his time waiting in a struggle to sit up. He could feel the stitches in his body as his wounds burned, but eventually forced himself upright. He was a soldier, and he would stand at attention if it killed him. He could barely stay on his feet after pulling his shoes back on, and was slowly moving to find his shirt and trench coat when Betsy returned with two men in tow. Both were the same height, but the similarities ended there. One wore battered fatigues with many patched holes and was very muscular, and the alcohol was strong from his breath. The other was clad in a baggy orange and gray jumpsuit, clearly a size too big, and smelled faintly of old cigarettes. Both looked exhausted, but the muscular warrior was clearly more beaten, judging from his sad expression and the stink of strong booze.

The skinny one yawned widely: “You’re looking for me? Are you Sergeant Kyle Reese?”

“Yes sir,” Reese nodded, his muscles trembling from the strain of standing.

Anthony dragged two more chairs over, sitting down heavily and offering another wide yawn. “You can sit. No formalities, sergeant. At ease.”

Kyle gratefully obliged, hissing as he lowered himself back down onto the hospital bed.

“Are you the commanding officer of this unit?”

“More or less,” Anthony grunted. “What do you need, Kyle?”

“Are you fighting in the resistance against Skynet?”

Anthony gave him a bewildered look.

“What?”

“Skynet,” Reese repeated. How could they fight terminators without knowing about Skynet?

In the end he was forced to launch a long and complicated explanation, and the drunk guard fell asleep in his chair somewhere around the middle of it. In return, Anthony fed Kyle an even longer explanation that this timeline, somehow, was completely different from the one he’d interfered in before. No terminators, no Skynet. No John Connor.

No Sarah Connor.

“I don’t know how you got here,” Anthony apologized, his voice sad. “And I’m sorry you’re lost in time. I know how that feels, believe me. But… we’re fighting an evil here, too. You seem very skilled, very smart. Will you help us? Will you help me end the Institute?”

Reese didn’t even need a second to think about it. “Yes, sir.”

He had nothing left, anyway. At least he could still defend the human race. But this was of little comfort - how this could have happened was beyond him, how he’d been wrenched away from Sarah and his mission to protect the future. He would never see her again, never hold her again. He’d had less than two days with her, the woman he’d loved for as far back as he could remember these days, he’d had such a short time to love her. He could protect humanity here, in this timeline, and he knew it was the right thing to do in any case. But even with this new mission, an important one, he still couldn’t see how his life was anything other than meaningless without her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References in this chapter to the settlement building mechanic. After I beat the game, I've been known to build "hospitals" in my settlements out of boredom by using the vault clinic structures. I even fill them up with medical tools and the excess chems I've collected throughout the game, with separate units including ORs. (I have high-functioning autism and I've always had a thing for hospitals.) For the purposes of this story, though, it's really just a plot device.

“How did you build this?” Reese eventually remembered to ask as Anthony was readying a suit of powered combat armor for him.

“The armor? I didn’t.”

“No, I meant this place. That building.”

“I had a lot of help,” Anthony smiled. “Vault-Tec left some of their shit laying around in various places, so I used the blueprints for vault structures to build the hospital. Anyone in the Commonwealth can come here for treatment but raiders, and nobody pays except mercenaries. I was able to rob the Institute blind over the course of several trips there before they caught on that I wasn’t really their friend.”

It had been two weeks since Reese had woken up in the wrong timeline. The doctors had all wanted him to stay in the hospital and rest more, but the Brotherhood of Steel’s assault on the Institute was approaching and Anthony was teaching him about power armor and energy weapons.

“You help others, even though you’ve told me how they all fight each other?”

“Most of them don’t know any better,” Anthony shrugged. “That’s why I joined the Brotherhood, we’re trying to unite the Commonwealth and hopefully save humanity from itself.”

“What about the people here, are they in the Brotherhood?”

“No. The ones who don’t staff the hospital grow food and scavenge to keep it running. But they certainly support the cause.”

“Even the drunk soldier who’s always hanging around you?”

Anthony frowned.

“He’s not drunk, he just… hmm. Never mind. If you knew him like I do, you’d know why he is the way he is. But he won’t hurt you, he’ll leave you alone. Just let him be.”

“Isn’t he a liability?” Reese couldn’t help but ask.

“No.” The paladin shook his head. “He’s anything but. Danse has been an invaluable warrior. Maybe you could talk to him, he’ll understand how you feel. He’s lost everything, too.”

Reese didn’t let his curiosity show, but rather changed the subject to the task at hand.

“So this armor is tactically sound?”

“It’s been saving soldiers’ lives for about two hundred and twenty years,” Anthony nodded. “It’s pretty much a wearable vehicle. This is a T-51 set I’ve found in various places around the wasteland, mine is a more advanced set but the principle is all the same. So you twist this valve here and the magnets release. The whole suit will open for you and you just step inside.”

Anthony did what he’d described, and to Reese’s surprise the cumbersome-looking metal contraption unfolded with the smooth hiss of hydraulics. The design was quite clever, with the hands and feet protected within the armor and an extended set controlled by the wearer. In his timeline, they’d never been able to protect the ends of their limbs adequately, and if a soldier lost a hand or a foot they were no longer fit for duty. This was the perfect answer to that problem.

Climbing inside, he felt it close around him, sealing him inside a protective cocoon of reinforced ballistic plates. A golden HUD played across his vision along the eye lenses of the helmet, showing him his vitals, the direction he was facing, the current status of the armor’s components and the fusion core’s charge.

Moving was another thing entirely. Raising an arm in wonder, Reese was shocked by how easily and naturally the frame followed his motions as though it was simply part of his body. He’d been expecting there to be some delay or resistance, but there was none to be found. It didn’t take much for him to become acquainted with its functions, and once he felt confident in its combat capabilities Anthony had him exit the frame and move on to the laser rifle. It was barely more than a refresher course, as Reese was no stranger to weapons, and this one wasn’t particularly difficult to master.

“One other thing,” the paladin decided as he took the rifle back. “Follow me.”

Reese couldn’t help but feel that this was somehow impromptu, but dutifully followed his new commanding officer away from the weapons workbench. They crunched across the grass in silence before coming to a stop at a crumbling stone wall on the edge of the settlement. Anthony sat on it, as always gesturing for Reese to do the same. The paladin was always informal, comfortable to speak with. Reese admired the man’s easy charisma.

“Tell me how you want to keep helping after the Institute is gone, or if you even want to at all.”

“I don’t know sir,” Reese admitted. “I’ve always been fighting.”

“There will always be fighting,” Anthony agreed with a grim smile. “War never changes, you know. Would you want to stay with us, though? Make a life here?”

Reese was quiet for a while, not knowing how he would even begin “starting a life” in a place as peaceful as this. All he’d ever known was conflict. His expression must have said it all, because Anthony looked away briefly and changed the question.

“Would you be interested in salvage missions? We always need people to look for tools and such, especially hospital supplies. After hearing you talk, I know you've probably improvised a lot and you must be resourceful. It wouldn’t usually be a very difficult job, and you’d be incredibly helpful. Even the most insignificant trash can still be scrapped and recycled.”

He stayed silent, still unsure what to make of the thought that Anthony had introduced to him. The new evil he’d been introduced to was already almost defeated by this mighty force, the Brotherhood of Steel. Soon the Commonwealth would be considered almost safe. But Reese couldn’t picture it, even knowing this time, too, had seen civilization perish in the atomic flames. Safety was relative, nearly an abstract concept. But somehow it wasn’t for Anthony, who was working so hard to bring peace nearly as complete as what had existed before his own cataclysm.

“Did I ever tell you about my wife Nora?” Anthony asked suddenly, breaking the stillness and startling Reese.

“No, sir. Only that she was murdered.”

“Well, before everything, when we were young, we got married before I left for the army. She went to law school instead of us having a real honeymoon, and I went to boot camp. And then while I was on leave, she got pregnant, but of course I was never with her for it because I was in EOD. But after that, a few months before Shaun was going to turn a year old, I left the army with an honorable discharge to be with my family. It was maybe a month before the Great War. Such a short time. I was a great soldier, but I wish I’d been with them, instead. But that month, it was magical. Such a short time, and of course now I’ve lost my family. But that one month was the most important one of all. And it’s why I still fight.”

“I don’t understand, sir.”

Anthony’s voice was gentle: “Kyle, you have such promise to help us. I know how you hurt. But remember even the little time you did have before you lost everything. I need men like you to help me, so that some other man doesn’t have to lose everything and fight like we do.”

Reese found himself nodding in agreement. He knew he would keep fighting, even after this battle. He was used to following a commander dedicated to the protection of mankind. Anthony didn’t seem to command the mass of soldiers and equipment that John Connor had held at his disposal, but he certainly had the same charisma and intelligence. Reese also saw the same core in the paladin, good-heartedness and having only humanity’s best interests in mind. Certainly Anthony Kostin was worthy of his loyalty.

Anthony smiled again, clearly able to read Reese’s emotions somehow. He wondered about this briefly; before he’d made the time leap, he’d never really let his thoughts show, hiding all his feelings within himself. But people in this time seemed to be able to look straight through to his soul. It made him feel vulnerable.


	3. Chapter 3

He dreamed of Sarah that night, like he had every night since finding himself in this strange world. In his own time, he’d thought of her so often when he hadn’t already been occupied by his military duties, but had never dreamed about the sad woman in the photo because that was only how he’d seen her. But now, having met her in person and defended her, now that he’d held her sleeping in his arms and loved her, he always dreamed of Sarah.

It was the same dream every night, the memory of their brief connection. Such a powerful handful of moments, electric tension when their skin made contact setting his nerves aflame with excitement at the prospect that yes, after all those lonely years and staring at a lifeless picture in longing, he finally lay here with her, wrapping her in the safety of his own body and feeling her with every part of his being. She’d kissed him, so lovingly, and had been whispering his name against his mouth. Words had abandoned him in that time, but he hadn’t felt the need for them either, content with the feel of her soft form and the sweetness of her breaths.

And the only four words she’d offered in response to the physical intimacy and affection he showed her: “I love you, Kyle.”

It made the waking world torture for him. To open his eyes and witness reality, often in the form of the colors revealing dawn’s approach, brought a stab of anguish that showed no signs of lessening even after more than eighteen days. Reese was still fighting, preparing for the final major engagement of Anthony Kostin’s long war when the Brotherhood of Steel would directly assail the Institute for the first and only time. He was alive, his limbs moved and his heart still beat steadily. But he knew for sure that this wasn’t living. His body and mind were animate, but he could only view himself as a passive participant in the goings-on of this war.

Reese had seen and heard enough soldiers expressing such feelings before to know he was depressed. Some part of him, the logical region of his mind, also knew that it wasn’t his fault for being in such a state. But he also couldn’t see any way out of it, or how it could ever resolve itself on its own. The only defense he had was to distract himself, make endless preparations with Paladin Kostin until he was too exhausted to dwell on the unfairness of his situation anymore.

And the preparations _were_ endless - whenever Anthony was off on Brotherhood missions, Danse would scrounge the surrounding areas and return with a backpack full of random ammunition and supplies. So Reese found himself digging through it with the other warrior, sorting it by caliber or by which energy weapon it fit. Today, he even got into a conversation with Danse, despite the fact that neither of them were eager to share anything about themselves.

“Do you remember how you came to be in this location?”

Reese shook his head. “They said I woke up during surgery. Before that… I was just in the factory with the machine.”

“The only data we’ve acquired that may be connected is from an unreliable source, an eccentric scientist named Jack Cabot who has become thoroughly convinced about the presence of sentient extraterrestrial beings. He could only offer us the theory that said beings have been involved with experimentation between alternate timelines of our reality.”

“There are other timelines besides this one and mine?” Reese asked, confused.

Danse snorted.

“It’s only a theory. Dr. Cabot hypothesised that their method of travel between them was to use specific paradigm shifts as gateways across these timelines. As far as I’m able to understand his ramblings, though, it sounds like complete nonsense. So far in relation to this Anton has been unable to acquire further information that could potentially support it.”

“Anton?”

“Anthony. It’s an… informal nickname.”

“Are you related?” he queried. “I usually see the two of you together.”

“No, we’re… no. We served together and became friends before I left the Brotherhood. Now we’ve chosen to begin a romantic partnership.”

Reese was a little startled to hear Danse admit to such a thing. In his time, it had been a very uncommon occurrence due to the need for reproduction. This only further added to his perception that these people could not have suffered nearly as much as the ones he’d known in his life.

“Why did you leave the Brotherhood?”

“It wasn’t by choice. But the consensus at the time was that it was a decision for the best. I make my best effort not to dwell on it.”

 _Even though you always smell like booze,_ Reese thought, but didn’t say it. “But Paladin Kostin stayed.”

“Yes. He still serves them loyally. Soon their mission to unite the Commonwealth will have far less resistance.”

Danse was clearly trying to deflect away from his reasons for leaving, which of course made Reese even more curious, but he wasn’t indignant enough to pry. Besides, it could only lead to unwelcome questions into his own personal issues.

“If the Institute is evil, why isn’t this place already united against them?”

“From my observations, they’re not as obviously malignant as your Skynet. The general populous of this area believes themselves helpless against the Institute’s onslaught, or doesn’t even believe they exist at all. Because of this, as well as the more visible dangers, they tend towards their own self-interests as opposed to that of the common good.”

“You have it easier against the Institute than we do against Skynet, then. There were a few groups of selfish people where I came from, but they usually got wiped out pretty quick. If we weren’t united against the machines, we’d _all_ get wiped out. Most people knew that.”

Danse nodded before taking a drag from the fourth or fifth in a series of cigarettes. “Not many have that level of foresight. If they did, the Brotherhood would be much more powerful. The continent would probably already be united and peaceful if that were the case.”

Reese packed the last four rounds into the magazine for a combat rifle. They were quiet after that, focusing mostly on the task at hand. Reese didn’t feel especially comfortable around Danse anyway, which made conversations difficult. He could tell that there was something damaged about the other man, whatever caused him to drink and smoke so much, and didn’t want to know in case it could pull him even further into his own despair.

The worst part was that Danse eventually started talking again.

“How did you achieve the technology to bend time if you were using all of your resources in a war with Skynet?”

“We didn’t,” he replied honestly. “We stole it from the machines. I was the only soldier who used it, and then it was destroyed.”

“So you were unable to return to your point of origin?”

“Yeah. I would’ve just stayed there. I never really thought I’d survive the mission, though. Definitely didn’t think I’d end up here, either.”

“And the objective of your mission was to protect a single human from the past? It doesn’t seem logistically sound.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Reese growled. “It’s still too close.”

“Understandable.”

The distraction had already been ruined, though. Sarah was back in front of his mind’s eye, focusing on his arm wound, working on pipe bombs beside him. Fleeing the machine while also holding him up on her shoulder. He winced at that memory. The pain of his injuries wasn’t something he had ever cared about, but seeing the look in her eyes when she’d been dragging him to his feet had hurt more than a hundred gunshot wounds. The fact he’d been shot had hurt _her._

Reese hated the world very suddenly, and also realized it had never occurred to him that he could hate the world before this moment. Danse’s mentions of alternative timelines had gotten his mind jogging, and he knew that if he’d been plucked from his and put in this one, there was some other timeline somewhere where he could have completed his mission and destroyed the terminator. He would still be with Sarah in that timeline, playing out however that would end. Or he could even be dead in another one, having failed his mission altogether but at least not suffering the uncertainty he was feeling now.

The insanity of the thoughts was ridiculous to him. Even the impossible technology he’d gone through, which enabled the user to take massive bounds forwards or backwards along their current timeline as they so chose, had nothing on the reality that the timeline he’d been pushed along wasn’t the only option. He could have been in another one, where he’d destroyed the machine. Where he was still with Sarah, finding out the methods behind surviving judgment day and returning to the war against the machines.

But now they were in his mind, too. They could have killed her then, not because it would let them win but because it was another step towards the eradication of the human race. He might have lost her anyway. Or lost her in the in-between, to whoever John’s father was, which most certainly would have been the case. Reese wasn’t stupid. He knew Sarah had only said she loved him because he was the only protection she’d had against the terminator. There would have been some other man, the one who would father John, who she could truly love. Reese had loved her for years before meeting her. But she’d only known him for a couple of desperate nights, fighting for her survival. He’d been the best way for her to stay alive, and that could be the only source for her affection. Later she would have found someone better.

 _So, I would have lost her anyway?_ Reese thought to himself. _Fuck. Fuck, I would just lose Sarah anyway… there was no timeline for me._

John had sent him back to fail. Maybe his mother would live, but Reese would never have been able to succeed to his own standard. He’d volunteered to protect the mother of his commanding officer, the woman he loved, and could never win that battle. Because even if she lived and ensured John’s birth, Reese could never truly receive the affection he craved from her. He would have ended out either lost in an unfamiliar time or dead. And John Connor, his leader, the man he trusted with his life and would willingly die for, had known that. John had known that when he’d offered the battered photo and put things in motion for Reese to be sent to the past.

 _He set me up,_ Reese realized. _I trusted him, and he set me up for this. He knew it would end badly for me, but he did it anyway. I was only a tool for him to save his mother._

Reese jammed the last fusion cell into the condenser so hard that the aluminum catch to hold it in place was bent out of shape. That would make it harder to put future fusion cells at full charge from the scores of half-empty ones that were found out in the Commonwealth. But he didn’t care. Shoving the little machine away from himself, Reese got to his feet and stormed away from Sanctuary’s center. He settled angrily on a rock by the edge of the stream that encircled the settlement, glaring out at the horizon as though it was to blame for his suffering.

Everything felt like a lie to him, now. John Connor had never cared about his value as a soldier who fought the machine, only as the means to an end to ensure his own existence was safeguarded. The careful training, trusting him for certain missions, only to hone him for a task he couldn’t possibly surmount. The selfishness of it was incredible. His commanding officer had thrown him away with no regard for his emotional suffering, dooming him the instant he’d laid eyes on that photo of Sarah Connor, the legendary mother of the future. A future that would say nothing of his sacrifice, only the woman he’d sacrificed for. And she might not remember him either, at the end of it. Sarah would probably never tell her son his name, or think about him even fleetingly, even though she would walk his dreams for the rest of his days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to go way more into detail about the Zetans' involvement in this, but I just couldn't make it work and also it makes more sense if they don't figure out the specifics. There would be really no way for humans to comprehend their motives in any case.


	4. Chapter 4

_“I love you, Kyle.”_

The words still echoed in his ears as he was waking the morning of the assault, just like every morning before it. He’d been stuck in the wrong timeline for over three weeks now, and he heard them as clearly as the moment they’d been whispered against his skin. But now he could only feel sad and bitter at the memory, knowing that the emotions behind them would never even last for Sarah and might not have been real in the first place.

As Reese slid on his borrowed combat fatigues and fastened the polymer-coated armor plates over them, he couldn’t help but also feel disappointed in himself because he still loved her. Even knowing what he knew, the feelings wouldn’t desert him, and he still ached to be with her and saw her in his dreams. The longing he felt to be at her side was only made stronger every time he fell asleep and dreamed about her, and it just made Reese hate himself for these pointless emotions.

The shock helmet and combat boots felt like they were trying to anchor him, even after he’d stepped into his borrowed power armor. The laser rifle was almost like a solid lead bar weighing down his arms, but he forced himself not to show it. He was a soldier and always had been, he was no stranger to combat. He’d promised to help Anthony destroy the threat that was the Institute, and he had every intention to uphold that promise no matter how difficult his personal problems were making things for him.

Paladin Kostin had recruited several people to aid him during the Brotherhood’s invasion of the underground facility from various settlements he’d saved, so Reese wouldn’t be the only outsider providing fire support during this mission. He’d been one of two able to borrow a spare power armor suit, the other being a former mercenary named MacCready. The rest were in the same polymer combat armor with a hodgepodge of weapons, and Reese personally doubted most of them would even be effective against whatever machines the Institute used. But he kept his thoughts to himself.

They were picked up for transit by a vehicle frighteningly similar to one of the smaller HKs, but once Reese had seen the human pilot he’d been able to relax a little and board the so-called Vertibird. Reese had never flown before, and watching the world slide by below them was an indescribable experience that almost made him forget his inner turmoil for its duration. They set down briefly and Anthony exited the vehicle, then followed a massive robot from the air alongside several other Vertibirds. The robot in question was also uncomfortably similar to Skynet machines he’d seen in his own time.

Watching the action from above, though, was still incredible. Anthony was on point with a squad of other Brotherhood soldiers in power armor, fending off synths and some odd humanoid creatures along the way that had simply been called “super mutants” when he’d asked about them.

“We’re approaching the CIT ruins,” the pilot shouted back to them. “Let’s hope the paladin knew his shit, huh? We’re setting down in sixty seconds!”

Reese performed a final check on his laser rifle, still slightly unused to feeling the world through the steel hands of the armor frame instead of his own. But he didn’t really care if he was honest. This would probably be the rest of his life, now. He knew he’d get used to it eventually, assuming Anthony kept letting him use the armor set for major engagements.

Other Vertibirds had already disgorged their passengers as the one Reese was in touched down against the dead grass. Red and blue laser fire speared across the open ground, bright flares of death against the gray backdrop of the rain. As soon as Reese set foot on the ground again his own weapon was up, the stock against his armored shoulder as he strafed to the side while firing. A few steps found him in the relative cover of an ancient truck with two Brotherhood soldiers in regular combat armor.

Even though he couldn’t see it, the explosion was definitely not far from them, and was followed by the crashing steps of the giant war machine that they’d somehow brought to life. As he was leaning around his cover to spit laser fire at a small cluster of synths it came into his peripheral vision, blasting enemies with the massive red beam from its head.

“Five minutes! We need just five minutes, he’ll split the ground open for us and we can get inside!” someone was screaming.

Reese barely heard this information over the din of combat, the zaps of energy weapons and the odd rippling sound as more enemies teleported in with flashes of bluish-white light. It seemed they were popping up as fast as they were put down, but his training had long since kicked in and frustration didn’t shake his aim.

Anthony was suddenly at his side, dark red power armor scored with burn marks: “On me, Sergeant.”

Reese uncurled from the tactical crouch he’d been positioned in to immediately follow the paladin across the open area, providing careful cover fire while they rendezvoused with the team who would spearhead the assault into the facility. The earth and concrete were very suddenly torn open with a booming crack, showering the nearby warriors with debris that was annoying but harmless.

“And now for the moment of truth,” he heard someone mutter as they descended into the hole.

Reese couldn’t agree more with that sentiment.


	5. Chapter 5

“Garfield, Mendez, left flank. Benson, Wang, right flank. Tamiya and Crawford, hold this position as a fall-back point. I’ll take point, Reese, on me. Go,” Anthony whispered.

On his command they instantly fanned out in their designated directions. Reese was immediately almost knocked backwards by the hail of blue laser fire that spanked off the plates of his armored suit, but he held firm and sent clusters of disciplined shots from his own weapon towards the machines. They looked very similar to Skynet’s terminators, but were nowhere near as durable or effective. For him, synths were barely a threat, and he couldn’t understand why everyone in this time was so terrified of them.

The two of them were forced to enter a round glass elevator in order to reach the terminal that would lift the security lockdown, which made Reese feel unnerved. He didn’t enjoy confined spaces and knew it would be easy to become trapped or to get ambushed as soon as the doors slid back open. Mercifully neither of these things happened, even after they had no choice but to utilize a second elevator.

The sheer whiteness of this place was nearly blinding for him. He’d thought that Anthony’s pristine hospital with its soft green walls and tile flooring would be the cleanest thing he’d ever witness in his life, but the Institute had challenged his perception. The sanitation of this area was immaculate, making him feel as if it was part of some completely different world.

After moving through an empty room and up an unsteady-looking flight of stairs that only fed his nervousness, they reached a second room that had the terminal and an old man in a bed a few feet from it. Instantly, Reese could sense some complicated connection between the old man and the paladin, so instead of taking part in their quiet conversation he busied himself by hacking the terminal and lifting the security override. His experience in the Tech-Com unit made this a very easily accomplished task, but he was still focused enough that he didn’t hear Anthony standing behind him.

“Hit the evacuation protocol,” Paladin Kostin muttered, startling him.

“Yes, sir.”

Following this the obnoxiously repetitive message warning the personnel to exit the facility was sounding off throughout the Institute as they made their way back to the main level, battling synths in off-white armor and black uniforms of rubber and leather that could somehow disappear into thin air at will. It took a moment for him to notice the slightest shimmer of the air that indicated their presence, but after that Reese had very little trouble locating and hitting them with only a minor loss of accuracy.

“Sergeant, tango on your six!” Anthony shouted at him suddenly, his voice uncharacteristically alarmed.

Reese started to turn and engage the threat, but was slowed by the armor’s servos. The ballistic plates over his lower back suddenly exploded outwards, and he would only realize later that this had saved his life. If the frame had imploded instead, he would have been sheared in half by the shrapnel. The busted armor fell off his body in chunks, and the shock made him fall backwards to the floor out of the ruined suit. His lower arm caught an edge and was lacerated by the twisted metal, but it was so hot that the wound was instantly cauterized, causing him to hiss through his teeth in pain.

Collapsing out of the armor frame also brought about a second near miss, where the shot from an Institute rifle went through his shoulder instead of his abdomen, spearing clean through to the floor. Even stunned and landing flat on his back, Reese was still aware enough despite his injuries to plant a laser shot through the synth’s neck and somehow take the head completely off.

Rolling onto his side with a groan, Reese picked himself up off the floor and began following Anthony again, feeling vulnerable in just his pale combat armor. Blood ran from the wound in his shoulder, soaking a dark line in his fatigue tunic, while the ragged edges of the tear in the other sleeve rubbed excruciatingly across the burned flesh of his other arm with every motion. Without having time to stop and field dress it, he knew only dumb luck would stop him from getting some kind of infection.

“Are you still combat effective?” Anthony asked as they moved down the spiral staircase.

“Yes, sir,” Reese answered without hesitating. The destruction of the Institute was more important than his individual health.

“Good. We’re approaching their medical section anyway, there should be a few knights waiting for us who are gathering their stims and drugs as salvage, I’ll toss you one when we reach them and that’ll help with your pain.”

Unfortunately, due to the fact that the first casualty in any combat situation is always the plan, it wasn’t that simple - when they reached medical, three knights were engaged with one of the invisible synths that Anthony referred to as a “courser” and laser fire in both colors was spearing across the room in all directions. Interestingly, there were also people strapped to the beds there, and judging by the struggling it was against their will. His speculation was confirmed when he heard one of them start crying for help.

Anthony joined the shooting while Reese jumped on the terminal to see if he could free their restraints. It wasn’t locked, but he found no command to open the metal clasps, so he’d have to free the prisoners individually. He fired a trio of shots from his laser rifle in the courser’s direction to distract it from his comrades even as he moved towards the first bed, and was relieved to see a bright red release button on the side. Slapping his palm against it, Reese looked up just in time for a second courser to appear and move to execute the closest prisoner.

His heart almost stopped when he recognized her.

An instant later, though, it was hammering in his chest as he flew forward to tackle the synth and found himself screaming at the top of his lungs in outrage. His self-control gone in the face of his original mission having suddenly become relevant again, even the years of difficult training that had saved him in life or death situations deserted him in that moment, and he tackled the courser. After he lost his grip on his rifle in the process, Reese ripped off his helmet and started beating the machine in the head with it for lack of other weapons. He didn’t stop until there was only artificial blood and electronic components left in the floor. Adrenaline still surging through his veins, Reese ignored the danger that was still present to himself and wasted no time in freeing Sarah. As soon as the metal clamps parted, he pulled her into the cover of the bed and curled himself around her, not caring if he was hit. He could feel her trembling in fear against his body and just whispered against her hair that she was safe, that he would protect her, his larger body over her smaller frame to shield her from the synths’ weapons.

Reese felt a shot hit the polymer plate over his upper back, but refused to move until Paladin Kostin came over to him to assure that it was safe.


	6. Chapter 6

Even being on separate gurneys, they reached out to hold hands across the space, eyes never breaking contact.

“How did you get in there?” Reese asked, wincing as a stimpack was jabbed into his outer thigh.

“Some of the machines found me out in the woods,” Sarah answered. “I don’t know how long they kept me in that place, either. I guess we’ll find out in a second, huh?”

She gestured with her free hand towards the Brotherhood medic who was running some kind of sensor across her swollen belly.

“At least you’re here now,” he murmured, squeezing her hand tighter. “I didn’t fail. Even after everything, you’re still here.”

Sarah offered him a small smile, and Reese almost returned it before Cade started to suture his shoulder wound and the pain made it into a grimace.

“I just can’t believe _you’re_ here,” she admitted. “After the terminator exploded. Jesus, Kyle, I saw you after that, you were _dead…_ but you’re here somehow.”

Even though she still smiled, tears were welling up in her eyes. Reese started to move so that he could comfort her, but the knight-captain’s hand pressed down hard on his chest and forced him to stay where he was against the firm pad.

“You don’t have to cry,” he practically begged her. Seeing her anguish was physically painful for him and he swallowed hard. “You’ll be safe here, even more than in your time. They can’t ever find you here. Or your son.”

“That’s not it,” she admitted, about to completely break down. “Kyle, I watched it kill you. You were gone. I was never going to see you again… but you’re _here_ …”

Sarah sniffed hard through her nose and closed her eyes, wiping them on the back of her hand. Reese could only watch helplessly, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her tears by this point. She was shivering, and he squeezed her hand as hard as he could without hurting her.

“But it’s okay, you don’t have to cry,” he repeated, not knowing what else to say. “All that matters is that you’re okay. It wasn’t important for the mission if I lived or died, just that I was able to save _you._ ”

Opening her eyes again, Sarah shook her head at him: “But it was important to _me._ ”

“Why?”

Another wash of tears for her to rub from her beautiful face.

“Because I love you.”

She’d said it to him before, but this time it was even more surprising for him after the conclusions he’d already drawn for himself.

“I thought it was just because I was protecting you,” Reese told her before he could stop himself. Something compelled him to be honest with her about his emotions. “I didn’t think you really did. Besides, your son.”

For a moment, she stopped looking upset to be surprised at him, only to become sad again a second later.

“No, I really do,” Sarah insisted, her voice starting to crack. “Before you arrived to protect me, my life was just… I kept getting stood up on dates, my job was just shit. My life was shit. But when I realized you weren’t crazy, even though I knew it was your mission, you just made me feel like I was worth it.”

Reese didn’t see Cade and the medic exchange a look, so he was surprised when his gurney was unlocked and pushed against hers. He was able to slide his arm around her and she nestled into his side.

“You _are_ worth it. To me, you’ve always been worth it.” He twisted his neck so that he could plant a tender kiss on her forehead. “I would have always come back for you, no matter how many times I got asked if I was really ready for that mission. I don’t think it could have ever been anyone else but me who got sent back.”

“After all this, I wouldn’t want it to have been anyone but you,” Sarah agreed. “And it couldn’t have been anyone else. John sent you back on purpose, I never knew it until after the machine was destroyed. But he knew it had to be you, because he’s your son, too. He’s both of ours.”

Reese was left stunned by this comment. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew how children were conceived, but in his time fertility in women wasn’t as common as it had been before judgment day because of the long-term effects from the nuclear fallout. It had never occurred to him that the brief encounter he’d had with Sarah would be enough to bring about pregnancy. And even if he had known, it probably still wouldn’t have crossed his mind, because his sole concern had been her physical and emotional wellbeing.

What was equally surprising, though, was that it meant Sarah really did love him and it wasn’t just Stockholm syndrome. There hadn’t been anyone for her after him, even though he’d naturally assumed there would be John’s father. Except Reese _was_ John’s father.

The silence was broken by the medic: “Looks like you’re about eight months in or so, Ms. Connor. Doesn’t really leave you a lot of time to get things ready, but you don’t have too long to wait before you’re parents soon. Congratulations.”

Once Cade had put adhesive bandages on his shoulder to protect the stitches, Reese rolled onto his side and pulled her to his body protectively. Sarah took him gently by the wrist and moved his palm over her bulge, watching his reaction when he felt the baby moving inside of her. He was already so strong, a fighter just like his parents. Reese could have stayed like that forever, just holding Sarah and feeling the motions of their son under his hand.


	7. Chapter 7

Anthony was working on his power armor when Reese found him. The sentinel periodically glanced up from his work to look down the road, where Shaun was playing with Dogmeat under Danse’s supervision.

“How’s it going, Kyle?”

Reese shrugged; he’d come over as a distraction for himself so that he could have a break from pacing nervously in the street.

“They’re operating.”

Anthony nodded: “It’s not uncommon. I’ve heard a lot about doctors doing it this way after the war happened for safety reasons.”

Kyle leaned heavily against the exterior wall of the house, still watching his friend work. That fact hadn’t really made him feel much better.

“They wouldn’t let me go with her. I just wanted to follow her, to make sure. But Dr. Holden told me there was no room in the OR.”

Anthony made a sympathetic expression.

“When I was building the place, I was really only able to build a certain amount,” he apologized. “Besides, with the resources available to us it’s fucking impossible to keep a room sterile, even more if the room is big. I didn’t really have a choice.”

They were quiet for a moment before Reese gave a very limited version of what he was thinking. “I just wanted to ask how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Be a parent.” He was nervous, but he refused to show it. “Even though you didn’t have Shaun until now.”

Anthony smiled.

“Well… it’s just something you do. When you have that child, nothing else in the world matters anymore. All there is for you is their happiness and safety, and you’ll do everything you can to take care of them. You’ll fight twice as hard because you know their safety is at stake. You’ll work twice as hard to make a better future for them. And you’ll find a new way to love, too, because nobody else is as important to you as they are. I don’t know, I’m not explaining it very well. But when it happens, you’ll just _know._ You’ll know what you have to do. I did, anyway. Hell, I was out of state when Shaun was born because I was on a tour, but when I went on leave and met him the first time I still knew. The point is, you don’t need to worry about it. It’ll come to you as you go along.”

“I didn’t know he was my son until Sarah told me after we escaped the Institute,” Reese admitted. “I’ve had all my training, you have to be prepared for things to go wrong even if you’re not ready for it. So I have to be ready for this even though I’m really not.”

“First of all,” Sentinel Kostin chuckled, “having a baby is something going _right._ There is never any wrong when a child is born to two loving parents. Second, combat training or any other training will never make you ready to be a parent. Third, nobody has ever been or will be ready to become one for the first time. There isn’t any way to prepare yourself for such a huge change. You’re never ready until after it’s already happened. Fourth, this is normal. No father I’ve ever met hasn’t been completely freaked out and terrified when their first kid comes along. And yes, I know you are, you’ve been around long enough for me to know that you’re scared shitless and don’t want me to see it.”

Reese was surprised when that statement actually caused him to relax a little. He even broke into a rare smile.

“You know me too well by now.”

Anthony laughed.

“I used to be scared to have emotions too, you know.”

“What changed?”

“My son was born.” The sentinel shook his head, his smile now wistful. “Besides, after seeing you and Sarah together, you guys will be great parents. You’re both smart and creative, and besides that I haven’t seen many couples who are as in love with each other as you are. You guys are fucking adorable together, even my boyfriend noticed and pointed it out once.”

Reese laughed a little in spite of himself, but before he could reply one of the hospital workers came over and got his attention.

“Everything went well, Sergeant. They’re both fine, you can come see them now if you want.”

Reese didn’t waste a second - he ran back up the street to the hospital, going through the emergency section to the stairs and taking them in threes to the next floor. Before they let him into Recovery, they made him change into one of their aseptic cleanroom suits as a preventative measure against infections. After he’d hastily thrown it on they allowed him into the room, which was long and narrow without very much privacy. It didn’t matter too much, though, because Sarah was the only patient at the moment and a single doctor was eating lunch at the other end of the unit.

Reese sat in the chair beside her bed, taking her hand in his. As soon as their fingers entwined she opened her eyes to smile up at him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after planting a soft kiss.

“Tired,” Sarah replied honestly. “But I’m okay. I told them to wait until you were here to bring John, so we can meet him together.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, leaning down sideways onto the mattress to cuddle her. He closed his eyes briefly, giving a contented sigh against her hair. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

The hiss of the sliding door made them both look to see a young nurse walk in slowly with a tiny bundle of cloth against her chest. Reese helped Sarah prop herself up on a mound of pillows and the baby was passed to her. Pulling the blanket back slightly revealed their son’s tiny pink face, relaxed in slumber. His soft, fluffy hair was a shade darker than his father’s, with a face and head that were similarly structured as well, though his ears and nose looked like Sarah’s. Reese knew that if John woke up he would see her eyes there, too.

“He looks a lot like you,” Sarah remarked, her happiness over this fact evident even through the exhaustion in her voice. “I bet when he grows up he’ll be just as handsome.”

Reese frowned, remembering for a moment.

“Well… he kind of looked like me as an adult. Sometimes people mistook one of us for the other if they saw us from behind. I remember him with scars on his left cheek, though.”

The newborn made a tiny noise and fussed for a few seconds, but Sarah gently rocked him and he was lulled back into sleep. For a moment, concern flashed her pretty features.

“When I was in the Institute, they kept saying things about harvesting genes from both of us because ours wouldn’t be corrupted. I don’t know if they were going to kill us for that or something, but I’m glad you attacked them before he was born.”

“I didn’t even know you were there,” Reese confessed, gently embracing both of them and resting his chin on her head. “I thought I would just be here alone for the rest of my life, and I went there with Anthony and the Brotherhood because I didn’t know what else to do. But if I had known, if they’d found out somehow and told me, I would have gone straight to where you were first.”

“I know,” she nodded. She looked down at John and smiled again. “Do you want to hold him, Kyle?”

“I… yeah,” he nodded, feeling slightly nervous at the prospect. He knew infants were very delicate by nature and didn’t want to accidentally break his newborn son somehow.

Sensing his hesitation, Sarah described to him how he should position his arms in order to hold the baby properly, and once he’d figured it out she gently transferred John to him. Cradling the child himself and looking down on that innocent face, not yet hardened and scarred by the harshness of the world, he was suddenly overwhelmed by the significance of this moment.

The last time he’d cried had been in 1984, noticing for the first time the unblemished nature in that past time, and how lovely Sarah was too against its background. It had hurt him so much emotionally, because all he’d ever known was the scorched labyrinth of death that was 2029’s Los Angeles. But now it was completely different, because even though he once again found tears running down his cheeks at the sight of something so beautiful and precious, this time it was born of the instant and unbreakable bond he felt with his son. Beyond any technological or cultural achievements made by man, to create a new life was the pinnacle accomplishment that humans could ever reach.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, reaching over to rest a hand on his knee.

She had been through such discomfort carrying their child, he knew, and had even given birth through a surgical procedure, but was concerned for him instead. That fact made him smile even though his eyes were still leaking.

“Yeah,” Reese nodded, meeting her gaze. “I’m fine. This is just such a big thing for me.”

Sarah gave a small chuckle at that, gently tugging him over to her so that they could lean against each other and jointly hold their son. He felt almost as if his entire life had been leading up to this moment, despite having been found dead by Anthony and resuscitated a hair’s thickness from death becoming permanent. He had always wanted to be able to just sit quietly and hold Sarah this way ever since he’d fallen in love with her photograph, letting her know without words that she was the most important thing in the world to him. True, a child had never been in that picture, and he’d never thought he’d live long enough to have children or that they’d be with the woman of his dreams. But now that they had a son together, he couldn’t imagine any other life for himself, and right then that was all that mattered.


End file.
